Tuesday, August 29, 2006

#11: I Don't Care About Your Stupid Rules

Date: Before the Beginning of Time
My Mood Is: impatient

Well, after my blog post yesterday, you're probably wondering what why I'm still here in the Timeless Halls of Ilúvatar, and not down in Eä, the "World That Is" that Eru created with the help of Melkor and the rest of us Ainur.

I was ready to go at once, as was Melkor. But you know Eru; He loves to talk. Almost as much as He loves to hear His praises sung.

Turns out there are a few "Terms and Conditions" for entering the World.

First of all, anyone can go. This is bad news. It means total losers like Manwë will get to go -- and just looking at that stupid fuck, I can tell he's planning to.

Second, if you go into Eä, you become a permanent part of it -- bound the the fate of the world, whatever that means. Anyway, once we go in, we can't come out -- not until the End of the World. I'm okay with that. I mean, I'm immortal, right? Even if we're in there ten thousand centuries, that's nothing to an immortal person.

Third, the Song of the Ainur, the music that Melkor and Eru made together along with the rest of us (and which has been the cause of so much tsuris) shall be as fate to those of us who dwell in the World. That's okay -- Melkor and I devised and sang most of the music.

And fourth, Eru is pulling rank AGAIN, and inserting something into the World that we didn't sing -- the "Children of Ilúvatar." Apparently this is a pair of strange races he wants us to incorporate into the World.

Now, excuse me if I'm wrong, but I thought WE, the Ainur, were the Children of Ilúvatar. We're not going to need these weird little "Elves" and "Men" running around, screwing things up. Well, whatever. As long as these "Children" know who's in charge.

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